He's three....

i'm going to try and pretend that three years haven't passed by so quickly. that i soaked up every memory, every ounce of our son's life and stored it, only to pull the mental album out on a rainy day. that i was the most loving, most god-fearing, most perfect mother to our little boy. but none of that is true. sure, i remember when he got his first teeth and when he began walking and the first time we cut his hair. i definitely had some awful parenting moments and, unfortunately, being the first born i didn't have previous experience to keep me from making mistakes.

but...

we have laughed, a lot. we have danced, a lot. we have marveled, a lot.

i look at little landon, although not-so-little these days, and think, "mike and i made him. he is made from our very cells." sometimes its so much that i am just overwhelmed by the amazingness of it all.

landon, you have grown into an amazing little man. you are so incredibly caring and sensitive. you test all your boundaries. sometimes to your demise. but i love that about you. you don't just stop, you do what you think you can do. i know it has caused some strife between you and i because i am trying to teach you discipline and obedience. but i have to sit back sometimes and applaud you for your persistence and independence.

you adore your sister and care for her so gently. its like you knew, before you really even knew what babies were, that you had to be careful with her. that you cared for her. that she was yours. the bond you have with her is so beautiful to be a part of, i can only pray that as you get older you feel the same way as you do now. loving your differences and appreciating your uniqueness.

you know you need alone time. i remember the first time that i was working in the living room and all of a sudden realized you weren't around. as i searched the house looking for a mess or something broken, i found you; playing in your room with a circle of toys scattered around you.

there are times when you throw tantrums and scream at me and have a temper beyond what a three-year-old should be capable of, and in the moment i get so frustrated. but as i think of it now, it just reminds me of your passion. your determination. your desire to do things your own way.

god has designed you so intricately. through being your mama you have taught me to be patient and consistent and intentional. and through watching your little mind process things and some of the phrases that come out of your mouth, i know that our creator has a sense of humor.

over the past three years, i have loved you more than i ever knew was possible to love someone. you have solidified my faith in god, my faith in family, my faith in motherhood. you were created to be my baby, my first born. god designed us: you for me and me for you. i love you, bubba. i'm so happy you were born.

7 Months

It happened. Another month flew by. I just can't believe it. Emi is now 7 months old and somehow in a month she looks different, acts different...is different.

She has totally mastered feeding herself her bottle, sitting up and rolling over both ways. Lightyears ahead of her brother. Landon didn't roll over until he was eight months old and she's been rolling over since 4 months. She is eating every kind of baby food you can imagine but LOVES sweet potatoes and mangos.

This little girl brings us so much joy. You can just see in her pictures the sweetness that oozes out of her. My favorite part of the day is first thing in the morning when I go in to get her. She flashes me this huge grin as if saying, "Mommy, I haven't seen you in twelve whole hours and I'm so happy to see your face." I don't have a care in the world when I hold her.

One thing that puzzles us still. Her eyes. We can not for the life of us tell what color her eyes are. They literally change from day to day. They are not like mine where they are more blue if I wear something blue or more green if I wear something green. They are a shade of their own. Sometimes blue, sometimes gray, sometimes hazel, sometimes green. It's the craziest thing. Sometimes I look at her and I'm like, "Whoa, hello blue eyes!" and then the next day there isn't an ounce of blue in them. I like to think she has a little bit of all of us in her eyes. Brown like her Daddy and Gaga. Gray like her A-ma. And blue like my entire family. She's an awfully special little girl.

6 months!

this little beauty is six months old. i'm a little late in posting a picture, but life has been a little hectic. and considering i had to go two weeks without seeing her beautiful little face in person.

she is a rolling-over-fool. she sits up pretty well on her own but hasn't totally mastered the art of catching herself before falling over. then, of course, she kinda looks at me like, "mom, i'm still a little rolly polly, you think you could help a girl out here?"

she got her first two teeth last month and i didn't even blog about it. the breaks of being second-born, i guess. mom doesn't have time to document your firsts. oh yeah, and she eats everything. you thought she was chubby before...we are going to have to watch this girl. it is almost as if she didn't come with the chemical in her brain that tells her when she's full.

emi ruth is an absolute joy. there isn't a single time that i see her that i am not immediately filled with happiness. that's her gift, i think. we should have named her happy. she's happy and she always makes everyone around her happy. but there is one person that can make her the happiest...her big brother. she giggles and laughs and smiles whenever he is around. no matter what he's doing or not doing, if he's paying attention to her or not. she follows him around the room. you can just see the love in her little eyes. i hope that never goes away. i hope she always adores her big brother and he always adores her.