28 weeks

Welcome to the third trimester!  It isn't long now!  And obviously my belly has transformed from me looking a little "pudgy" around the middle to full blown roundness!  It has been so fun to watch all of these changes.  I know that this is my last pregnancy so I have been trying to enjoy it, remember it, savor it and just all around love every second.  It has made this feel so special.  You almost forget how much of a miracle this process is because of how "common" it is.  But today, I just can't help but be utterly grateful.

I've had a few days of returned sickness after nearly a month without a single symptom.  But I will praise Him even in that!  My back has started to ache from the very obvious growth happening on the front side.  And the lovely shortness of breath that I remember all two well from my first two pregnancies has joined the party as well.  It seems LB's (yes, we have a name, but it shall remain a secret!) favorite place to hang out is under my ribs and up in my lungs.  Fun times!

Landon continues to be totally excited about the pending birth of his brother and Emi continues to be completely disappointed that it is not a girl.  I have a feeling roles will switch though at some point after his birth, when Landon is sick of sharing his room and Emi is still excited to be playing "mom" with her baby brother.

Here's to our final trimester and a healthy little one coming soon!  See you next month!

Have you ever seen anything so cute?

24 weeks

Four weeks have come and gone and suddenly I am working towards the third trimester.  The biggest change this month was the introduction of the rest of our family being able to feel our little guy moving in my belly.  Landon, by far, is the most excited about this new development.  I have never seen a little boy so excited about an unborn brother!  It makes me smile.

The other amazing thing is that I went two whole weeks without vomiting.  This is big, people.  I have some renewed energy (with the help of a daily afternoon nap), I can pretty much each anything without having any food aversions and overall I just feel a ton better.  What a relief.

I took two weeks of vacation off of work and have been home with the kids while they are on Christmas break.  We have done a lot of crafting and playing and especially building with Legos.

The weather has been amazing (not too many people in the States are setting the sprinkler out for their kids in December) and I am really soaking in this time as a family.  It won't be long before our family takes on a whole new dynamic of adding a third child and all the craziness that comes with it.

I am getting anxious to meet our little guy.  I am also moving into crazy, nesting mode and have begun to plan out how we are going to fit him in Landon's room.  It still hasn't totally sunk in that I am going to have two sons, three kids.  Feeling completely, totally and overwhelmingly blessed.

See you next month!

20 Weeks...

 

20 weeks have flown by!  I can hardly believe it.  We are halfway to meeting our little man!

I am feeling much better and even went a WHOLE week without getting sick.  Of course I've been sick every day this week but I'm going to count my blessings when I can.  Baby B3 is moving a bit more now, nothing too crazy, but he is doing a lot of flipping around in there.  Still nothing strong enough for anyone but me to feel, but I think those days are numbered.

I've started to walk everyday which has helped with my energy level and I am pretty much eating normally now.  A LOT less Ramen noodles and Saltine crackers!  Woo hoo!

We have an appointment coming up this week and I am anxious to see our boy on the sonogram screen again.  Can't wait to have him in my arms! 

See ya in four weeks!

she turned four

We blinked and she wasn't a baby anymore.  I'm not sure how it happened but suddenly her day was here.  She woke up with an instant smile on her face as we sang to her through her streamer-ed door.  Her smile so big, cheeks so chubby, her little slivers of eyes, gleaming.  She knew it was special.

  Our girly-girl who dazzles herself with jewelry, make-up and nail polish but prefers to watch Transformers, Ben 10 and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with her brother.

There is no shortage of sass in this little three-foot-something frame.  Attitude also comes along for the ride.  She challenges everything, has an opinion about everything, submisses to virtually no authority unless its convenient for her.



But she cuddles better than anyone I've ever known.  She nestles her head into the crook of your neck, throws her arms around you and always makes a sighing noise of complete satisfaction as if with you is the only place she wants to be.

She loves fiercely, is disgusted regularly, is passionately loud and uncharacteristically gentle.

We should have given her the middle name of "mischief" or "sneaky."  She is always finding herself in a bind, with a crayon in hand and a blank canvas, also known as her bedroom wall, just begging to be colored on.  We think we have misplaced important things only to find them tucked away in her "secret hiding place" also known as her play kitchen.  It's a good thing we know her secret or there would be a lot more panic as we look for car keys, jumpdrives and wedding rings.

  

She's dramatic and resourceful.

 

And always finds herself shakin' her "tail feathers" to whatever tune is playing in the background.

  

She hassles her brother and gives him way more kisses than he could ever want; but we know its because she loves him so fiercely.

 

She was a healing baby for our family four years ago and she continues to do so four years later. 

  

A dreamer, a peacemaker, a debater.

 

She wants to be doctor so she can help people in this world.

 

We couldn't imagine our world without her.

Happy Birthday, little girl.  We love you more than you could ever know.

It's A.....

16 weeks

 

I've made it to 16 weeks with Baby B3.  I am still VERY sick with pregnancy sickness, which means sometimes visiting my "porcelain friend" a few times a day.  The interesting thing is, I don't mind it as much this time around.  Maybe its because I've been through the loss of a baby and now every week that passes, I feel less worried about losing this one, and more grateful for every moment.  Maybe it's because I just know that pregnancy sickness is part of my body's process and I've just succumbed to the idea.  Either way, I am more laid back this time around.  Which is pretty unusual for me.

I felt my first little "flutters" this week and it is always a reassuring thing.  You just never know what's going on in there until you finally feel some movement.  I am looking forward to the weeks that come, feeling actual somersaults and kicks.  I am also looking forward to the first time that the kids get to feel it too!

Nothing big to report this week (except of course for my growing belly) so we will check back in in four weeks!

A Little Announcement

 

Yep, you guessed it!  The Braisted clan is going to be expanding.  Our little one's due date is April 11th, 2014 and we couldn't be more excited!  Check back every four weeks for updated belly pics and new information on the newest little Braisted!

School Days!

I blinked...and it was that time of year again.  Thirteen weeks of summer flew by us and suddenly I have a six year old in Kindergarten and a three year old in Pre-K4.  I never know how much they change and really grow up until I see their pictures from the year before.  

I just can't believe that these two used to be babies. 

Here's to another year!

 

 

   

 

Until it Happens to You

 

I realize it is a bit unorthodox to write about things that are painful.  But I promised myself, and those who read these posts, that I would keep our blog real, open, honest and raw.  There is very little that is more raw than the events that transpired this week.  Nonetheless, I still felt God asking me to share them.  We are meant to live in community, we were not created to deal with things alone.  For it is in loneliness that Satan thrives and strives to isolate us into shame, embarrassment and doubt.  Through transparency and a genuinely-lived life, I believe it is where we conquer Satan through our Savior.  Where we give him no foothold to grab, where we leave no stone left unturned.

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It's the kind of pain that starts in your heart.  Not the actual muscle located in your body but a place that begins somewhere deeper, that doesn't appear in a medical book.  It slowly pulsates upward through your lungs and spreads wide across your chest, radiating into your shoulders, slowly penetrating your arms.  It makes its way to your hands, to the tips of your fingers.  It's so electrifying that you feel like anyone who is within a one-mile radius of you must feel it too.  You hope they feel it too.  You hope you're not alone in your suffering.

From the moment the two pink lines show up on that plastic stick, something is lit inside of you.  You can't explain it, you can only feel it.  With every week that passes, more and more of this little future begins to unfold in your mind.  Promises, hopes and dreams; they already exist.

Physical signs that life has started to make you acutely aware of this miracle taking shape inside of you.

Names begin to circle in your daydreams.

All the "firsts" they will experience play out like an old movie in your thoughts.

You wonder if they will be blonde or brunette, boy or girl.  Will they be fiery like their sister or sensitive like their big brother?  Will you finally have a child with blue eyes, that maybe could look a little like you?  Those Braisted genes are awfully strong.

You grin when you pass by your husband as he washes dishes because the fact that you share this intimate secret only brings you closer.  You sign up for "Baby E-mails" and put a weight tracker on your electronic devises, this time you are going to keep those pounds in check.

In the back of your mind there's a little dark corner of "what ifs" that you keep smashed behind happy memories of your past two experiences.  It's still such a slight chance, and really, that kind of thing only happens to other people.

Until it happens to you.

I sat there thinking how wrong it was that my child, the one I already had playing soccer in my mind, was now sitting in a place to be flushed down like waste.  The child with Mike's infectious smile and my blue eyes, was no longer in a warm or caring environment.  Coupled with the fact that I could barely grieve because every time the kids saw me crying they thought the end of the world was coming.  In their eyes, I'm a rock, and if something could upset Mommy this much...

I used to be sympathetic to mothers who lost a child in early pregnancy.  I never knew what it was like but in my mind I said things like, "Well at least the baby was only the size of a sesame seed.  She didn't get to see the child's face or anything.  That must feel better."  But now that our baby was just the size of a sesame seed I completely understand.  That is our sesame seed and it doesn't make me feel any better.

The kids were occupied and the sun was setting, I could barely make out some rogue rays creeping over our backyard wall.  The same place from where my hurt was seeping through, called to me to come see beauty through it all.  I yearned for it.  Not for an answer or a quick fix but to see beauty through the ashes of what was left of my broken heart.  So I climbed the stairs to our roof and saw it.

Beauty.

Promises.

Hopes.

Dreams.

In the clouds, the rays of light, I saw God's heart breaking for mine and at the same time His healing powers flowed over me like ocean waves.  For a moment, and if only for a moment, He spoke through His creation the way words never could:

"I love you, my child.  My mercies are new with every sunrise, my grace is new with every sunset."

I have been in this love affair with Christ long enough, through enough battles and hard places, to believe His words.  To know that as His Word promises "to work out all things for the good of those who love Him," He will do just that.  And like all the other circumstances throughout my life, I can't see it, not standing in the middle of a messy and painful place, but after a few more sunsets I know He'll show me just how much mercy and how much grace He planned to give.