Are you really Pro-Life?

On Saturday, two young men - ages 18 and 19 - were executed in an area nearby.  Our community was a hive of activity following the shooting.  People came from all around to go look at the bodies.  Police vehicles came and went.  Mike was questioned a couple of times on his account. There weren't people screaming or crying.  Just two kids, laying in a field, being made into a mockery.

Later in the week we found an article in an online newspaper that stated people from the surrounding communities were celebrating the deaths of the boys.  These two "delinquents" were wanted in several murders that occurred during robberies to obtain weapons and motorcycles.  Many had been living in fear of these boys.  They seemingly had no conscience and only thought selfishly about themselves.

When the murders initially occurred, I had a seriously heavy heart for them.  We didn't know the background of the boys and I couldn't help but think of their mothers - what heartache.  When Mike was reading me the article I felt a sense of relief.  A relief that later struck me in a strange way.  Why was I feeling relief that two teenagers were executed?

I struggled for a time that day - not completely sure why I couldn't get them off of my mind.  I didn't feel fear or danger.  I didn't know them so I didn't feel a deep sense of loss.  Yet, I struggled.

It wasn't until this morning in my devotions that I felt God ask me a question and I knew it was pertaining to my struggle: "Are you really Pro-Life?" 

Let me start by saying, I am NOT going into politics here.  In fact, I do what I can to stay away from some really taboo subjects, but this question struck me so surprisingly that I knew God was really drawing my attention to it.

It is probably not a surprise to many people that I am Pro-Life.  I mean, I am dedicating the rest of my life to fighting for kids who are cast out, lost and abandoned.  I will be waiting expectantly to swoop in and care deeply for babies whose mother's have abandoned them.  In some respects, this work is a no-brainer for me.  I love children.  I think every child is a gift from God (despite the circumstances surrounding their conception or birth).  It doesn't take a lot of effort on my part to feel compassion for these children from the moment I meet them.

But what struck me this week, and about the question God proposed, was how I began to feel about the boys after I had learned of their delinquent activity.  I have felt a similar way when I heard of some child-molesting criminal being killed on death row.  I have caught myself saying in my head, "You got what you deserved."  And just now, reading that, it really, really disgusts me.

These two boys, although I will never condone their behavior, did not deserve death at the hands of someone playing High Judge.  Me saying that their life was only worth the horrible mess they got themselves into is a complete disgrace to the Living Gospel that I base my faith and life on.

"Then Jesus told them this parable: 'Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders  and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." -Luke 15:3-7 

We claim as Christians that Christ's love is for everyone but we rarely live that way.  Something happens to many of us once we begin our lives as a Christ follower; we forget the former road that led us to the Cross.  I was a sinner (and still am).  I was selfish and rebellious.  I was a very, very lost sheep.  But Christ found me.  He pursued me.  He won me over with His radical love for me.

This isn't a simple road.  We aren't going to wake up one morning and say, "I feel so much compassion for the man who killed my father."  We aren't going to be driving down the road and decide, "I've changed my mind.  I don't believe pedophiles deserve the death penalty."  Believe me, if there is any circumstance where I wrestle with God on who deserves death, it's with people that harm children.  We may have to plead with God to change our hearts to reflect His.  We will have to fight every fiber of our flesh because forgiveness and acceptance and unconditional love do not come easily to us.  But we have to understand that the Gospel is for all, not just those we think deserve it.  Because in reality, not a single one of us deserves the ransom Christ paid for us.

Jonathan Rafael Henríquez Bola and Junior de Jesús Rodríguez Pérez were lost sheep.  Our prisons are full of lost sheep.  Our workplaces are full of lost sheep.  Our families are full of lost sheep.  Sheep, that are of utmost importance to our Heavenly Father.  As Christ-followers, people are watching to see how we respond to all of these situations in our lives.  But you know what circumstances they are watching most?  The hard ones.  The struggles.  The difficult decisions.  The unpopular stances.  If we think Unbelievers are basing their opinion of Jesus on how we behave at birthday parties or at the gym or on work outings, we are sorely misguided.  They won't find Jesus while we are on our high-horses, or our condemning rants or our self-righteous proclamations.  They will find Him when we act like Him.  When we treat His precious children with compassion and love.

So I ask, "Are we really Pro-Life?"  Do we really believe every human life matters?  Because if we check our hearts and our hearts have conditions and rules about who deserves forgiveness and freedom - then we are showing this broken world a cheap version of the Gospel.

Not the Gospel that was paid for by our Savior's blood.

{Foodie Friday} Perfect Seared Chicken Breast and Cauliflower Rice

After posting this photo on Instagram, I got several requests for the recipe.  So rather than send a bunch of emails and messages, I'm posting it here.  This recipe was taken directly from the Whole30 cookbook.  This is not my own recipe.  Just want to make that clear :)

Perfect Seared Chicken Breasts
Serves 2
Prep Time: 3 minutes
Cook Time: 13 to 19 minutes
Total Time: 16 to 22 minutes
------------
2 portions skinless, boneless chicken breasts
(I doubled this so I had chicken for more meals that I only had to warm up)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons cooking fat (I used clarified butter in order to be Whole30 approved)
------------
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees

Season the chicken breasts on both sides with salt and pepper
In a large, oven-safe skillet, melt the cooking fat over medium-high heat, making sure to coat the bottom of the pan.  When the fat is hot, place the chicken top (rounded) side down in the pan and sear for 3-4 minutes.  (Don't touch it during this time so it gets a good sear!)  Your chicken should pull off the pan easily once you have a proper sear.  Using tongs, turn the chicken over, then put the entire pan in the oven to finish cooking.

Bake for 10-15 minutes, depending on the thickness of the chicken, until the internal temperature reaches 160 Degrees (F).

Cauliflower Rice
Serves 2
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes
-------------
1 large head cauliflower, cut into florets
3 TBSP ghee or clarified butter
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1 carrot, peeled and chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 TBSP minced cilantro
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
-------------
To "rice the cauliflower, place the florets in a food processor and pulse into a rice-like consistency.    In a large skillet, melt the ghee (or clarified butter) over medium heat and coat the bottom of the pan.  When the ghee is hot, add the onion and carrot and cook, stirring, until the onion is translucent, 2-3 minutes.  Stir in the garlic and cook until the garlic and cook until the garlic is aromatic, about 1 minute.

Add the riced cauliflower to the skillet and mix thoroughly with the rest of teh vegetables.  Add the chicken broth, cover the pan with a lid, and steam until you've arrive at a rice-like consistency, 10-12 minutes.

Remove the pan from the heat and mix in the chopped cilantro.  Add salt and pepper to taste.
-------------

I also put tomato salsa on top for a little pop of color and added flavor.

Enjoy!  And happy cooking!!!

When The Rooster Crows

This past weekend, I went to a Women's Conference here in the Dominican.  The theme of the conference was "Corazones de Guerreras" or "Heart of a Warrior."  I mostly went because many friends were going that I have missed over the past year and because, honestly, I needed a break from my kids.  Yes, I love them.  Yes, they have been driving me crazy lately.  Refreshment was what I needed, Freedom was what I found.

My good friend, Vicki, spoke one morning.  She has been a dear friend of mine for nine years and has always been a constant source of encouragement.  Vicki was speaking about going to battle as a warrior woman for Christ.  She gave some very simple ways that we can put on our armor, fight for Him and defeat our enemy.  The thing that got me was when she asked the question, "Who is our enemy?"  Being in the church since I was little, of course I knew the answer was Satan.  But she proposed something that I wasn't prepared for.

My entire life, I have cared way too much about what others have thought about me.  I have always had a great desire to please everyone and disappoint no one.  This desire has been one of my main causes of stress, anxiety and poor-decision making in the past.  It is something that has held me in "chains" for a long time.

Several years ago, God began to do a good work in me and He really convicted me of how sinful I was in putting other people's desires before His.  Slowly but surely, others' opinions of me and the things I felt God was calling me to do, faded to the background and I started caring only about what my Creator thought.  It was very liberating.  And it was easier to obey and make the hard decisions God was asking me to make.

I thought all of that was behind me until we decided to start Hope House.  Then, there were a lot more people who disapproved of me and the decisions our family was making.  There were people who were kind and supportive to our faces and then spoke harsh words behind our back.  There were people who expressed their excitement for this next chapter and then gossiped about our inabilities to others.  ALL of my insecurities came rushing back.  Were we making the right decision?  Were we prepared to take this on?  Were we capable of doing this?  Has that ever happened to you?  Have you ever been knocked over and blind-sided by something that you thought was gone and healed?

As I sat there in Vicki's talk, I started to cry.  Not because I was doubting the road God called us on or our abilities to accomplish this task but because God revealed exactly what "chain" had been weighing me down.

Bitterness.

God was faithful in healing my sinful desire of putting other people's opinion above His own but in the process I allowed myself to become bitter toward those people.  I hadn't forgiven them.  I hadn't loved them unconditionally.  I was essentially doing the same type of hurtful stuff by being kind to their faces and being bitter toward them when I was alone.

Vicki said something that changed everything.  When she asked the question, "Who is our enemy?"  The correct answer is Satan but she proposed that we, in reality, make each other our enemies.  And that is Satan's most powerful weapon for us (especially women) in this war...distract us from our real enemy by fighting with each other.

When I was mulling all of this over, Jesus brought a passage to my attention.

"Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: 'Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.' And he broke down and wept." -Mark 14:72

Peter was one of Jesus' best friends.  Peter would have laid down his life for Jesus.  He loved Jesus with every fiber of his being.  So much so, that he left every thing and everyone he had ever known to follow Him.  But in Jesus' hour of need, Peter didn't stand by Him.  He didn't fight for Him.  He didn't even try and stop what was happening to Him.  He denied even knowing Him.  Not once, not twice, but three times.

But here is the real kicker: just because Peter denied Jesus and abandoned Him didn't mean he loved Jesus any less.  In a tough situation, Peter's flesh won.  He was in self-preservation mode.  He wasn't thinking about the end game or the real battle.  He made a selfish decision in the heat of the moment.  You bet, if he had it to do all over again he would have done it differently.

And what's really important is how Jesus responded.  Jesus didn't disown Peter.  He didn't give him the silent treatment.  He didn't bash Peter to the other disciples.  He simply loved him.  And kept on loving Him.  And it was because he loved Him that He hung on a cross.

I am certainly not Jesus.  But I do have friends, family and supporters that I love (and who love me), that have hurt me very deeply in the past.  And instead of following Jesus' example and recognizing that the Enemy often uses those closest to us to try and distract us from the real battle - I chose bitterness.

Friends, we are not each others' enemy.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." -Ephesians 6:12

If you have been hurt by someone you love, always remember that they are human and fighting their own battles of jealousy, envy, discouragement, grief and disappointment.  Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.  Listen closer to His voice than to the distracting ones around you.  So that when the rooster crows and your loved ones deny you and run - rather than strapping on armor to fight the battle with you - your focus can be on the real Enemy and the victory will be yours.

Does God Want Us To Be Lonely?

In the past year I have struggled with this question: Does God want us to be lonely?  There have been times where life has felt like a series of things, and people, being taken away.  Not necessarily in an abrupt or difficult way, just little by little no longer being there.  Over the course of this year Mike and I did some kind of out-of-our-comfort-zone sort of things.  They were things that we felt were necessary and that we definitely felt God was asking us to do but inevitably the decisions we made left us feeling lonely at times.

For our first eight years on this island, we were surrounded by people that loved us, encouraged us, spurred us on and who fought the same fight we were fighting.  It was a comfort and a safe place considering the obvious difficult circumstances that sometimes surround you when you are a foreigner in a foreign land.

Leading up to making the decision to live outside your comfort zone is often unsettling and scary.  But once you make the decision to leave it, sometimes living outside of your comfort zone is kind of exciting.  Everything is new.  Everything is different.  There are new things to be learned and new options to be explored.  It's invigorating.  You feel the passion in your bones rising to the surface.  You are ready to conquer the world.  But just like the butterflies of a new love wear off, so does some of the initial invigorating feelings of stepping into this "unknown zone."  Soon the one thing you weren't expecting sinks in...loneliness.

You realize the crowd isn't going the same place you are.  You realize God is calling some of them out of a different comfort zone than yours.  You suddenly see that as you are walking down that road God is asking you to walk down, you are the only one around for miles.

Maybe you just down-sized your home and now you are in a neighborhood where you don't know anyone.  Maybe you just took a new job that serves others but the paycheck is significantly smaller.  Maybe you just started to homeschool your kids because you wanted to be able to have more of a daily influence on their lives but its a bigger sacrifice than you anticipated.

So what do you do when you look to your left and your right and there isn't anyone standing beside you?

It's these times where you have two choices: give in to your loneliness and decide you misinterpreted what God was asking you to do, or submit to God's plan and seek Him to fill your aching void.

Over the last year, I had plenty of times where I felt like we had made a mistake (just being honest here!).  Do you know when the only times were that I had those thoughts?  It was when I was feeling lonely.  Usually in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep.  Almost always when my house was quiet and my thoughts were loud.  And nearly every time we were coming up on making another big decision toward stepping further out of our comfort zone.  The Enemy is sneaky.  And its no mistake that he is called the Prince of Darkness.  He is also called "the angel of the bottomless pit (Rev. 9:11)," "devourer (Mal. 3:11)," and the "father of lies (John 8:44)."  He knows one of the most effective ways to discourage a Believer who is taking risks for the Kingdom is to make them feel like they are doing it alone.

Thankfully, God has a plan for those who seek Him in their times of loneliness.  As I began to recognize my own feelings of loneliness the Holy Spirit began to show me that I really am never alone.  The lonelier I felt, the more I called upon The Lord.  The more I sought after Him, the smaller my empty void felt.

"Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones."-Isaiah 49:13

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28 

 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the Shadow of the Almighty." - Psalm 91:1 

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul." -Deuteronomy 4:29

I never realized how much more I had been depending on human relationships to comfort me than I had my Heavenly Father.  So often those relationships (friends, spouses, parents, siblings), although well-intentioned, can sometimes be a distraction from seeking Him first.  It is so much easier finding comfort in someone you can see and hug.  But God promises to make Himself known to you if you seek Him "with all your heart and with all your soul."

So does God want us to be lonely?  Never.  But sometimes loneliness is what it takes for us to hear His voice above all the others.

Weakness of Mine

A couple of months back a friend wrote me an email.  She is a good friend, an honest friend, and she constantly points me toward Jesus.  It was shortly after we lost Gilverson, an abandoned baby I had been caring for for three months.  Mike and I had finally decided that we would try and adopt him and when we went to talk with Children's Services about it, they informed us they had sent him to an orphanage in Santo Dominigo.  I was completely crushed.  I had been guarding my heart with him for the months I cared for him in the hospital, knowing full well he wasn't mine, but still wanting to love him the best I could.  I finally gave in to hope when Mike told me that he would be interested in adopting him if they would let us.  God had aligned all the signs.  Would we actually be bringing this baby I loved so much, home with us?

Some depression sank in and I felt a very deep sadness.  It actually kind of shocked me, the profound way I had grown to love a baby that didn't share a single gene of mine.  Either way, many people had been following the journey with me and I posted the sad news on Instagram.



It was shortly after that post that I received the email from my friend.  She had been approached by someone else who had seen my devastated post on Instagram, to which the person proceeded to ask, "If she was so devastated over this ONE baby that she had cared for, does she have what it takes to run an orphanage where there are hundreds more just like him?"

When I first read the words, I'll admit, I was mad.  Not at my friend who was just the messenger of the posed question, and not really even at the person who asked the question.  I was mad that I had let myself be so vulnerable to people "out there" following us on this journey.  Up until I met Gilverson, I was positive, encouraging and maybe even a little peppy on all of my posts.  I didn't want people to see the difficult parts of this road - Satan constantly tries to lead me to believe people don't support weak missionaries.  But that is who I am and have always been.  Maybe not weak in the way the dictionary describes it or the way bullies use it, but I am in fact, weak.

Since I was a small child absolutely everything bothered me.  I cried over everything from Disney movies to dead butterflies.  I could walk in on an emotional commercial and only see the very end of it and sob as if they were speaking of a dear loved one.  When friends hurt me in school, I could hardly pull myself together enough to go.  When boyfriends broke my heart, I was completely inconsolable.  It's just who I was, and am.  I always, always, always saw my tender heart as a curse.  I've had to work really hard to convince myself that being this way was the way God made me, and that my crying, weak, inconsolable soul had a purpose.

Then here I was, a grown woman, who had had her heart ripped out and somebody saw my weakness once again.  It wasn't even like they had to dig very deep to see it, either.  I put it out there, for literally the whole world to see.  What was I thinking...

A couple of mornings ago, I could feel my weakness taking hold of me again.  A plethora of circumstances over the past two weeks had finally taken a toll.  I was practically begging God to make me tougher.  To make my heart more durable.  To change it from flesh, back to stone.  And to no surprise at all, He answered me:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

God's power is made perfect in my weakness.  My tender, constantly breaking heart is made perfect through God's power.  Ultimately, it doesn't change the fact that there are just some days -- some things I see, some cases I know of, some children who are suffering -- and my weak heart can't take it.  That as I sob holding a child who's mother chose to leave him in a hospital bed, God is working to transform my tears into love's redemptive power.

So if someone were to ask me, to my face, if I am "cut out" for this kind of work, my response would be simple:  No, I am not.  I am not ready to, every day, see children who have been abandoned by people they thought loved them.  I am not prepared to hold a baby who has never felt the loving arms of another human being before.  I can't fathom the hurt and pain and suffering that the kids who walk through our doors are going to know.  But that doesn't mean I don't kneel down in the trenches with them, hold them, cry with them and spend sleepless nights praying over them.  For where I am weak, He is strong.  And soon, many children will be depending on that very weakness of mine.

Share Hope for Mother's Day!

Hey Friends!

Mother's Day is less than a week away and we are giving you an awesome opportunity to give your favorite Moms the gift that keeps on giving.

From now through Sunday, May 10th, you can donate to Hope House in honor of an awesome Mom!

Here's all you need to do:

1.  Buy your Mom (or sister, aunt, grandma, favorite teacher, etc.) a Mother's Day card.
2.  Donate to Hope House via Paypal here and put a sweet little note about the Mom you are donating for in the 'Notes' section of the donate form. (with your permission we would LOVE to share your testimony on our Facebook page!)
3.  Go here and download this Hope House insert to let the Mom know about your gift to her.
4.  Print the insert, cut it to size and place the insert in the Mother's Day Card.  (will fit in a card 4x6 or larger)
4.  Give her the card!

Also - if you are interested, send us a photo of the Mom you are donating for and we are going to put up an 'honorary photo frame' in the orphanage of these special women in our lives.

Me and My beautiful Mama!!!

the least of these

I've been struggling...

It's become obvious to me that God is doing a work in me.  It is not always easy, and is often painful, but it always has a purpose.  Above all, I do believe that God is transforming my way of thinking.  He is asking me to step back from all I know and look at what He is showing me.  It's been a bit radical.  I've seen so many things with "faith eyes" that I never saw before.  And honestly it's been a bit alarming at how much I believed before that actually wasn't true.

For a little while now, I've been struggling with a phrase.  I, personally, have used it a hundred times before and I've heard it used by others a thousand times before that.  It's so common these days in Christian circles that people are using it as their organization's motto, plastering it on billboards and signs, using it on their webpages.  It was a perfectly usable phrase to me before but in recent years it bends me out of shape.

the least of these

I almost shutter.  Not because of how its formulated in a sentence or that I have heard it over and over in bible studies or sermons but because it means something so different to me now than it ever has before.

I'm sure you are wondering why I have such a problem with it or at least why I am taking the time to write this down.  And honestly, I fought God on it all morning.  I knew it would be controversial - and I am FAR for controversial.  I am not a theologian.  And for a long time I thought that meant I shouldn't have any opinion on spiritual things.  But like most things God is teaching me on this faith journey, its not about me - it's about Him.

A while back I heard some people say they were going on a mission trip to Africa to "serve the least of these."  As if "the least of these" were a tribe of people.  Actually, that is exactly what we have turned the phrase into.  A group of people, less fortunate than ourselves, who need us to bring them the hope of a Savior.

It is absolutely true that God wants us to go out into the world, preaching the good news and making disciples.  The Bible commands us to do it.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit..." -Matthew 28:19

There are people all over this world that still need Jesus.  Our work is not done here.  God invites us to be a part of His redemption story by us going and us bringing the good news.  But can we stop calling the ones we are going and bringing the news to, "the least of these?"

In Matthew 25, when Jesus called the hungry, the thirsty, the naked, the sick and the imprisoned "the least of these," He wasn't giving us permission to do so, too.  Jesus is the King!  He is pure, blameless, worthy, anointed, the Holy One...in comparison to Him we are all "the least of these."

I think sometimes we forget after we have been a Believer for a long time how hungry, thirsty, naked, sick and imprisoned we once were.  Although our intentions are good - we want to go and help - we somehow don't take the memories we have of our former life with us.  We leave it on our native soil, perhaps waiting for us when we get back but most of the time we leave it there for good.  We don't want a reminder of our former selves, as if we fear others knowing how dirty we really were.

But for a second, think about your former self...

Hungry.  Thirsty.  Naked.  Exposed.  Sick.  Abused.  Addicted.  Imprisoned.  Trapped.  Desperate.  You aren't even a fraction of what you once were.  You aren't even a better version of what you once were.  You are a new version of what you once were.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" -2 Corinthians 5:17

Jesus didn't call those brothers and sisters of His "the least of these" in a condescending way or a hurtful way or a judgmental way.  There is no one that sees us for who we really are, like Him.  And His words to us are always said through a filter of love.  As humans, we aren't capable of that.  We try and hope and want to but the reality is our sinful nature prevents us from it.  So when we call others "the least of these" it sounds condescending, hurtful and judgmental - even when we don't mean it to be.

So, please, can we take the phrase "the least of these" out of our vocabulary?  Instead, lets meet our brothers and sisters in their place of hunger, thirst, nakedness, sickness and imprisonment.  Not as someone who can't relate but as someone who has already been there.

Pruning

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful." -John 15:1-2 

A couple of weeks ago I needed some time to myself.  Our baby was being overly clingy, the older two were driving me up a wall and I felt like I was on the fast-track to Crazy Town.  Mike took care of things around the house and I went outside; work gloves on, clippers in my hand and the determination to accomplish something...anything.

I stared at our nine lime bushes and realized they were looking pretty pathetic.  Limbs were hanging on the ground, weedy vines had taken home in their branches.  I knew what needed to be done.

I started on the first bush and it went fairly smooth.  Nothing crazy to do, just some general maintenance and the loss of just a few, small limes.  I was feeling good.  Accomplished.  I stepped back, admired my work and moved on to the next bush.

Each lime bush following the first became a little more difficult.  They were larger bushes and had more overgrowth but they also had quite a few limes growing on the low-lying branches.  I don't like to waste anything, especially not precious limes that make the most amazing limeade known to mankind.  Very quickly I realized I was going to have to make some significant cuts to this bush.  Ones that were likely to remove some incredible limes not quite ready for harvest.  They still had potential and I had to think long and hard about what I was going to do.

I almost grimaced the first time I had to prune a branch that had a bundle of those beautiful, green fruits.  I thought to myself, "How silly I am being, they are only limes."  After finishing the first round of pruning on our biggest lime bush I stood back and looked at the slaughter.  All around me were perfectly good limes laying on the ground, never to be used to make limeade or anything else for that matter.  It seems a little dramatic but I must have just been in one of those moods.  I was really distraught over the loss of these limes.

As I stood for awhile, staring at the other six bushes I had left to prune, I wondered if I had it in me.  "They are fine," I said, "they are producing limes, I should just leave them alone."  No sooner than I completed the conversation in my head, I got a little nudging from the Holy Spirit.  I knew a lesson was on its way.

When most people think of pruning they think of it as cutting off what is dead so something new can grow.  It's a beautiful metaphor for life, isn't it?  Sacrifice for the greater good.  Prune the hurt, the pain, the past, the sin and the anger out of your life so that peace, hope, love and patience can grow in their place.  But what if pruning has more to do with something you deem good in your life?  Has God ever asked you to give up something that produces fruit?  Has He ever asked you to prune something out of your life that you love, that isn't destructive or sinful?

John 15:2 says, "...every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."  Did you catch that?  He's not cutting off a branch that is already dead, He is pruning a branch that is bearing fruit.  Kind of a game-changer.

I've always been ok with cutting off dead branches in my life.  It hurts and it's hard but I know that it is worth the discomfort in the end.  But pruning a good branch?  That just seems counter-productive, doesn't it?  But any gardener or farmer will tell you different.  And our Gardener will tell you that too.

So what does a fruit-bearing branch that needs to be cut, look like?  Maybe you are super involved in a lot of outreach at your church.  But you are so involved and can never say no, that you aren't focusing the right time and energy into what God has designed you specifically for.  You are bearing fruit but not the kind of fruit God knows you are capable of.

Maybe you are a stellar athlete.  On top of your game, better than the rest.  But your sport or sports keeps you from plugging into your church and your church body.  All of your games or competitions are during services or youth group or volunteer hours.  Or you are too exhausted from all of your competitions that you can't pull yourself out of the house during your few, free hours.  But God gave you that talent, why would He ask you to prune it out?  You can use your gifts as an athlete to impact others, right?  But maybe you can use your gifts in a way that will bear more fruit.

Maybe you are in ministry now but you have crazy gifts and talents in the business world.  Maybe God is asking you to leave ministry (gasp!) and join the business world so that you can impact others for Christ and use your financial resources to spur on others in ministry.

Or in my case, photography.  When we started this whole process to open up an orphanage, I was perfectly content being a photographer/missionary...or so I thought.  Over these few months as I dug deep and really contemplated why God asked us to give up working with a ministry we loved to start something new I realized that I was just using the wrong gift for His glory.  Sure, my talents as a photographer were bearing fruit; it was drawing attention to the needs here in the Dominican Republic.  But God designed me to be more than just a photographer. 

He gave me a sensitive heart and an intense burden for orphaned children.  He made me a hugger and a nurturer; specifically to bring comfort to those that are hurting.  He made me a dreamer and a planner and an innovator.  He designed me to be stubborn and hard-headed and relentless when I am fighting for something I truly believe in.

It is not easy pruning the branches in your life because, in reality, it may mean giving up something you are really good at or that bring you accolades.  But you know what happened three weeks after I wearily pruned my beloved lime bushes?  The limes that are on the trees now are bigger and produce almost twice as much juice as the ones before.  And if a clumsy gardener like myself can prune my way to a better bounty, imagine what our all-knowing Gardener can do in you, if you let Him.

I was desperate for a brother...

When I was a kid there was very little I wanted more than a brother.

I have a brother.  One that shares my DNA.  One that has my fair skin.  But because of difficult circumstances I have never been able to meet him.

As broken families and broken people go, a thing like not having a brother left a gap in my life.  From very young I clung to boys.  Not in the way that most girls do with crushes and blushing and passing notes in class.  I played football with them at recess.  And high-fived them in the hallway.  I played video games with them at parties while the other girls were huddled around talking about which one they were going to the dance with on Friday.  I identified with them probably more than a girl normally would because --

I was desperate for a brother.

I had a father that adored and supported me.  I had a mother that loved and cared for me.  I had beautiful sisters who fought and argued with me.  But it was never enough.  I was never really content --

because I was desperate for a brother.

My oldest sister is seven years older than me.  It was the perfect age for "brother" candidates, or boyfriends as most people know them by.  I was always so excited when she had a new boyfriend.  A new chance at a new brother.  But as young love and boyfriends go, they didn't stick around as long as I had hoped --

because I was desperate for a brother.

I don't remember the day she brought him home from college but I remember thinking it was my one real shot at one real brother.  I mean, college boyfriends turn into husbands, right?  And they turn into brother-in-laws.  Turns out, he was sticking around.

I ended up working for him for four summers doing concrete work.  We had long hours of driving in a truck and staying too late finishing up driveways and too many early mornings prepping equipment.  But turns out I didn't mind the driving and the driveways and the prepping because --

I was desperate for a brother.

Somewhere in the King-Sized Reece's breakfasts of champions and the consumption of too many bottles of Dr. Pepper and the red-faced frustration of other guys messing up jobs and the contractors who were punks, I got something I had been so desperate for...a brother.

We talked about life.  He told me how stupid I was for some of the guys I dated.  We laughed about things that happened on the job site.  We laughed even harder at the number of accidents I had on the job site.  He was honest with me and told me I deserved better than I was letting myself believe.  I had hours and hours of undivided attention from a brother I so desperately needed.  And he was so willing to oblige.

When I look back I know without a doubt that there was no one more influential in my life for those four summers than him.  And the repercussions of my time with a guy that loved my sister but also chose to love me, too, undoubtedly changed me and helped make me the person I am today.

He is tough and strict and demanding and hard-working and when you hug him it's like hugging a bag of cement.  But there is no one more committed, more dedicated, more trustworthy or more honorable than him.  And he filled a void in my life that he probably has no idea he filled, until now.

I love you, you big Lug.  Happy Birthday.

a loving home trumps the difficulties of providing it

Posted by Mike:

Well another year has passed and what a year it has been.  God continues to bless our family and guide us on an incredible journey.  This past year of life sure has been full, and today I get to sit back and reflect on all that has happened.

Next to me is my precious baby boy, asleep.  I am such a happy and proud dad to care for and raise three amazing kids.  I love the feeling of watching over, protecting, teaching, and sometimes disciplining a child.  I don’t really know if there is any preparation or training one could have to be a parent but it is awesome!

I also can’t help but reflect on the big news from baseball with the passing of Oscar Tavares.  He was way too young to die and he had such a bright future ahead of him.  The thing that caught my attention the most though was reading somewhere that Oscar and his girlfriend had a baby.  I can’t help but think about a little boy now who suddenly has no earthly parents.  I know the pain of losing a father but I also had the benefit and blessing of being grown when my dad passed away.  I had an incredible example to follow and still continue to feel dad’s guidance in life.  Is it easier to lose a father at such a young age?  I don’t know if anyone can really answer that.

The sad thing is that there are so many other kids out there right now who have lost parents to death, drugs, or abuse.  God laid a big burden on my heart for kids just like Oscar’s son, kids who in some way lost the right a family.  I was raised in an incredible family and have been blessed with my own family to raise but to me that’s not good enough anymore.  Kids are out there all around us because of tragedy and they deserve the right to a father and a mother who love them, who will teach them, who will discipline them, who will show them the love of Christ.

I am grateful for every family member out there who has taken into his or her home a young relative.  For some it may be easy to incorporate them straight into the family and for others it is a huge challenge.  Unfortunately there are many out there who don’t have that opportunity, to be with family.  I know this journey God has placed before us won’t be easy but for me the right to a loving home trumps the difficulties of providing it. 

I jokingly started growing a beard several weeks ago and said I won’t shave it off until we purchase the land to build Hope House.  It was something fun when I started it and it’s fun to tease my wife about the beard since she hates it so much.  Something happened shortly after I started letting it grow.  The beard became a reminder of the kids that need a home.  It is a physical daily reminder for me to not stop working on opening the doors for Hope House.  I know it sounds cheesy but every day when it itches a little or sweat drips down it I know that we are one step closer to providing a life that these kids deserve and it makes me want to work harder and prepare more for the opportunity to invest in these little lives.

I am thankful to celebrate another year of life but I reflect on a life taken too soon.  I reflect on the lives of those who right now are losing their right to a family and the potential peace that God can bring them with a new family at Hope House.