happy birthday, munchkie

one year. so much can happen in a year. so much has happened in a year. and we couldn't have done this year without you.

you were our healing baby. our smile-inducing baby. our tear-drying baby. i don't think you could ever know how much weight your birth carried in our family. life and death. it's apparent now how they go hand-in-hand. and your little life somehow helped us through grieving your gaga's death.

emi ruth...i hate to sound all cheese-ball-y but you seriously are such joy. i'm sure all mama's think that about their babies but you really, really are. your daddy and i sometimes race each other to your room in the morning to see who gets to see you smile at us first. its like you look at us like we were all you dreamt about all night long. like our faces were exactly the ones you wanted to see.

you take your time to do everything and you do everything your own way. you weren't in a rush to sit on your own or crawl or jabber like other babies did. you waited, until you were sure that you wanted to do it, and then just did it. almost always out of the blue. no one provoking you. no one coaxing you. just you. in your own time.

you love your brother. oh, how you love your brother. you look at him like he's a superhero. you have a little sparkle in your eye when you see him running around pretending to be spiderman. you always want to touch him. like he has magic powers and just by touching him you can be like him. i hope you always adore him like you do now. he's such a good big brother and he'll do a good job when you're older of protecting you and teaching you the wonderful world of his imagination.

my hope for you is that you love others more than they maybe deserve. that you learn from others and appreciate them for their differences. that you trust and obey your daddy and i. we've made mistakes in our lives and we, although we're still learning, want to teach you to avoid them, even if the other paths seem more fun. and above all i want you to love jesus more than life itself. to find your identity in him. to embrace the gifts and talents and personality traits that he's given you. to know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and to never let anyone else make you feel any different. he knew you before you were even a thought in our minds and he will carry you through all situations, come rain or shine.

happy birthday, little munchkie. you have been a light in our lives and the slobbery kisses we needed. i can not wait to see the girl you will become. i know god has some incredible plans for you.

Fall Frenzy

We have been having some crazy fun back in the U.S.. Scratch that. We haven't been doing anything extraordinary but maybe it just feels so good to be here. I'll admit, the weeks leading up to coming back I was really dreading it. The Dominican is just home. It feels like home. It looks like home. It is home and this girl feels like a fish out of water when she's away from it. But God has very much blessed this trip already. I've been in love with winter clothes. I've been eating up all the juicy hues of fall. Only dressing the kids in oranges, burnt umbers and olive greens. I've drank two cups of warm coffee every morning just because I know I won't sweat while doing it.

It's. just. been. good.

And seriously? I've got the cutest kids ever.

And I've totally been a head-band-making Mama again...only this time...just autumn goodness.

Landon has totally been spreading his independent wings and its been an interesting road. It's amazing this unconditional love thing. As angry and hurt as it makes me when he is SO belligerent and disobedient it somehow makes me love him a little more than before his i-hate-you-mom tantrum. But its exhausting. I just hope we are parenting him the way that will bear fruit somewhere down the road because right now, it just feels tiresome.

Then, a moment later, he can run up to me and give me the biggest hug ever and tell me how much he loves me. Then he flashes that smile. The one that he's used since he was an infant to flirt his way out of any situation. And I melt. And I'm reminded that he really is a good boy and how normal this three-year-old-attitude can be.

Little Miss Emi has taken on a new name, "Ruthie." My sister, Ashley, started it and its totally taken form. She is sooo a Ruthie. And I love it because I'm reminded of my Grandma every time I hear Mike say it. I can only pray that Ruthie will aspire to be like her Great Grandma Ruth that she never got to meet.

And in a few short weeks, this little one will be one. Craziness.