Tuesday, May 15, 2012

insane, ridiculous, fantastic

i felt the crazy desire to blog this morning.  i have taken a little hiatus from our personal blog, not really intentionally, but not unintentionally either.  in fact, i kinda forgot about blogging about our family life until my mom mentioned that my last post had been about Christmas crafts in late November.

quite frankly, i didn't feel like blogging.  our family had a rough six months that included some pretty serious spiritual attacks, tough parenting stuff, hard decisions and overwhelming exhaustion.  i didn't feel like blogging about "pretty" things when life just didn't feel that pretty.

but this morning, as i sit in one of my favorite houses that rests on one of my favorite farms, our littlest one came around the corner with crazy bed head and the sweetest smile.  i simply forgot the past six months and wanted to share with whoever follows this blog, one of my life's greatest joys.
this little one was an answer to prayers we didn't even know we needed.  she helped us through one of the most difficult times we've ever faced and many times i look at her sweet little face and am reminded that even in the midst of her temper tantrums, she literally saved our family from sinking too deeply into our grief over losing mike's dad, joe.
she is rowdy and rambunctious and pushes buttons i never knew i had.  she is fiery and opinionated and independent.  she draws me to my knees everyday in prayer asking God how on earth i am supposed to raise her to be the woman He wants her to be when i can barely get her to listen when i ask her to simply pick up her toys.
she questions everything and does very little i ask her to do, the first time.  she antagonizes her brother and taunts her father and overwhelms her mother.
but she is insanely passionate.  ridiculously nurturing.  fantastically loving.  she is the funniest little thing that comes up with the craziest ideas.  she is expressive and outgoing.  she's never met a stranger and likes everyone she's met.  she resists her boundaries but holds tightly to them too.  she is one of my life's greatest joys and i couldn't imagine our lives without her.  in fact, our lives would probably be pretty boring and mundane without her.

and above all, i know, without a doubt that all the things that drive me crazy about her, God will find a way to make those things work for the good of His kingdom.  And for me, that's all the confirmation I need to watch and train and guide her even through the toughest of her little stages.