When I was a kid there was very little I wanted more than a brother.
I have a brother. One that shares my DNA. One that has my fair skin. But because of difficult circumstances I have never been able to meet him.
As broken families and broken people go, a thing like not having a brother left a gap in my life. From very young I clung to boys. Not in the way that most girls do with crushes and blushing and passing notes in class. I played football with them at recess. And high-fived them in the hallway. I played video games with them at parties while the other girls were huddled around talking about which one they were going to the dance with on Friday. I identified with them probably more than a girl normally would because --
I was desperate for a brother.
I had a father that adored and supported me. I had a mother that loved and cared for me. I had beautiful sisters who fought and argued with me. But it was never enough. I was never really content --
because I was desperate for a brother.
My oldest sister is seven years older than me. It was the perfect age for "brother" candidates, or boyfriends as most people know them by. I was always so excited when she had a new boyfriend. A new chance at a new brother. But as young love and boyfriends go, they didn't stick around as long as I had hoped --
because I was desperate for a brother.
I don't remember the day she brought him home from college but I remember thinking it was my one real shot at one real brother. I mean, college boyfriends turn into husbands, right? And they turn into brother-in-laws. Turns out, he was sticking around.
I ended up working for him for four summers doing concrete work. We had long hours of driving in a truck and staying too late finishing up driveways and too many early mornings prepping equipment. But turns out I didn't mind the driving and the driveways and the prepping because --
I was desperate for a brother.
Somewhere in the King-Sized Reece's breakfasts of champions and the consumption of too many bottles of Dr. Pepper and the red-faced frustration of other guys messing up jobs and the contractors who were punks, I got something I had been so desperate for...a brother.
We talked about life. He told me how stupid I was for some of the guys I dated. We laughed about things that happened on the job site. We laughed even harder at the number of accidents I had on the job site. He was honest with me and told me I deserved better than I was letting myself believe. I had hours and hours of undivided attention from a brother I so desperately needed. And he was so willing to oblige.
When I look back I know without a doubt that there was no one more influential in my life for those four summers than him. And the repercussions of my time with a guy that loved my sister but also chose to love me, too, undoubtedly changed me and helped make me the person I am today.
He is tough and strict and demanding and hard-working and when you hug him it's like hugging a bag of cement. But there is no one more committed, more dedicated, more trustworthy or more honorable than him. And he filled a void in my life that he probably has no idea he filled, until now.
I love you, you big Lug. Happy Birthday.
