To Our Daddy...

when us girls are little, we dream of our prince charming. we dream of the guy that will sweep us off our feet, wrap his arms around us and ride off into the sunset on a brilliant, white horse. as childish and naive as all of that sounds, its our hearts desire to find him; the one that will care for us and love us and cherish us all the days of our lives.

i found him.

and although he whisked me off in a chevy S10 pickup instead of a glistening steed, somehow i was one of the blessed ones to be swept off my feet.

our wedding day was absolute bliss. i couldn't have planned it better and certainly wouldn't change anything. it was nothing short of an incredible celebration of the uniting, not only of us, but of our families. there was laughing and dancing and glass clinking...cake smashing, booty shaking and lot of kissing. i never imagined on that day, almost six years ago, that i could love him any more than i did in those moments. its crazy how little we can imagine.

somehow as that little one grows in your belly you can't believe how much you love them without even feeling the touch of their fingers or the soft hairs on their head. but what i wasn't prepared for was how my heart would grow for Mike on the day our first child was born. there's something about a daddy and his son.

i have had the absolute pleasure of taking a center stage, first row seat, to watch how an incredible bond is formed. watching mike love landon only increased my love for him. sometimes i would sit across the room and pretend to be reading, really just watching the two of them play. mike's patience and gentle spirit, that made me fall in love with him in college, are the same characteristics that make him such an incredible dad.

there is nothing that deepens your love for another, like watching them love your babies. and to know that god not only hand-picked landon for the two of us, but also hand-picked us for landon, is a feeling we can never replace.

and as baby number two grew in my belly, i couldn't imagine loving another baby like i did landon. how was it going to be possible? but, oh, is it possible.

and to see mike be the daddy of a little girl, was more than my heart could take. somehow it grew even more, making room for emi and even more room for him.

i never understood the saying, "there's just something about a daddy and his little girl," until i witnessed it firsthand. and i can attest that there really is just something about a daddy and his little girl.

mike is the backbone of our family. he is my rock. there is no one that can calm me down or cheer me up or make me laugh, like him. there is no better fort-builder, or owie-kisser, or spiderman-avenger, than him.

the same calm demeanor and sweet spirit that swept me off my feet eight years ago, still sweeps me away today.

and even when we have to change the 46,574th diaper and watch spiderman for the 5,622nd time and we have the 456th fight over toilet paper or taking out the trash or putting laundry in the hamper...i could never imagine doing life without him.

and even though most people say that we are thousands of miles away from home, i know the real truth....

he is my home.

Happy Father's Day, Baby. We are more than blessed by how you love us.

weather forecast

i've been feelin' it, ya know; the clouds, the darkness, the rain. not weather-speaking, metaphorically-speaking. just feeling the dreariness settle in. it's part of life, i've come to realize, just knowing that days, weeks, months will be amazing and full of joy and then POW, dark.

i've missed blogging. it's my outlet. it's my relief. i took a bit of a hiatus just feeling like i couldn't add one more thing to my tasks of life not realizing how much it releases such sweet aromas of my daily blessings. i'm glad to be back. and although it isn't the most pleasant or enjoyable first post back; its something.

lately, i've been feeling inadequate. specifically in the area of motherhood. like i'm not doing enough and should be doing more. i've been impatient and sometimes unkind and quick to anger. not a biblical example of a mother, anyway. i know you should never compare, to each his own, but i struggle with it a lot. reading other friends' blogs, other mom's blogs and just thinking, "man, am i really screwing my kids up? i should totally be doing more and being more for them." and the more i sit and ponder and compare i truly feel like just giving up sometimes. like its an uphill battle. like i'm not making a difference or growing our kids into godly warriors or spending enough quality time with them that they know how deeply they are loved.

my grandma ruth always said, "we are all from dysfunctional families and spend the rest of our lives trying the heal from them." she was a pretty wise lady. and the most spiritually connected person I have ever known. we may come from good families, even great families, but the fact is we are humans living in a sin-filled, broken world. we are going to make mistakes. we are going to hurt one another. we are going to be impatient and rude and quick to anger. but what gives me hope, even on my dreariest of days, is that all this is covered with jesus. he fills the gaps. he heals the wounds. he gently corrects and guides us along the way.

he covers over my inadequacies. he makes all things new. his mercies are new in the morning. and the thing that he has been reminding me of over and over is how real and tangible night and darkness, and morning and light are. what seems impossible in the dead of night seems doable with the light of morning.

and where i fail as a mom, he succeeds as a savior.