from Lemons to Lemonade

Before there were blogs and websites and the stratosphere that is the internet; there were pen and paper and journals.  Ever since I can remember I have been writing.  I can still remember first grade when Mrs. Vermillion had us write a sentence-or-two-story about what we wanted to be when we grew up.  At that time I definitely wanted to be a singer like Madonna but by the time seventh grade rolled around and I had my first class with Mr. Johnson, I knew I wanted to be a writer.

My first few journals started out as, kind of, pictographs with a few short sentences about rainbows and ponies and sunshine.  But it wasn't long before I fell in love with poetry and descriptive words and metaphors.  I would spend hours writing songs and mini-novels, using phrases like, "...when the early morning dew kissed the lonely trees."  In fifth grade I even started typing my stories on our family typewriter (yes, I said typewriter) because it felt more "professional" when I clunked on those keys.

The world of blogging was opened up to me when we started our transition to missionary-hood when I found myself delving into this strange and unknown "digital journal" with a feeling of such excitement and opportunity.  I scoured other missionary blogs and, soon after Landon was born, Mom-blogs, just knowing it was something I wanted to take more seriously.

I think about writing 18 hours a day (sometimes more depending on how well I'm sleeping, or not sleeping, at night).  I wake up in the morning thinking about some epiphany or story I've been desperately wanting to tell someone -- whoever might listen in the wide open space of the internet.  Though, I rarely seized the moment to jump out of bed and write my thoughts down, until three days ago.

I have enjoyed following other people's blogs but I have known for some time that I needed to write differently.  Most people prefer to only write about the good days they have because, honestly, bad days aren't very inspiring.  But what I have found, in my own personal story and on my blog, is that people respond so much more to real-ness and transparency.  That everyone experiences really tough days (and maybe even weeks or months) and reading that someone else is struggling and learning through difficult times can actually be more inspiring that rainbows and ponies and sunshine.

This is not to say that my blog is going to be depressing.  I promise it won't be.  Believe me, we have some pony-rific days around here but if I wait for every pony-rific day to write our story, I won't be writing very often.  And that's not depressing, that's just life.  Life is challenging, beautiful, extraordinary and heartbreaking all at once.  But we have learned as a family this past year that even our battlefields are beautiful because God is a God of transformation and refinement. What seems like coal to us can easily be turned to diamonds by Him.

So that's it.  I'm turning my Lemons into Lemonade.  And even if only my current seven followers read what I have to say, I am ultimately writing for an audience of One and I know He thinks I'm pretty awesome even if some days I don't.